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I waited expectantly. I had a million questions. Did she like it? Were the characters well developed? Did I get the extra half-point for my grade? “It’s a good first effort,” she said. First effort? Shit! That could only mean it needs a second effort. “Now please don’t consider criticism to be negative when it is intended to help you make this better. I’m not going to use words like ‘I like it’ or ‘I don’t like it’. That’s irrelevant to our discussion. My personal tastes are not at issue. I’ll try to keep this as objective as I can within the realm of language and literature. Good enough?”“Yes, ma’am,” I said. I was already a bit dejected. I’d put my heart into this story. Toughen up, old man.“Okay. Let’s start with the story arc. I think you could begin with something more dramatic that draws the reader into the story more rapidly. It’s the third page before we have a clue that they are boarding a spaceship. Lead with it. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character. I took my hand from her pussy and gave each cheek one last kiss. I knelt behind her. Her ass spread before me, her red pussy leaking, her back arched... She growled, "Fuck me now! I'm so close." I lined up my cock to her slit, grabbed onto the curves of her womanly hips, and thrust into her all the way. I could feel the heat of her ass against my abdomen and her huge clit bumping my balls. She gave a guttural moan and her pussy squeezed my cock like a tight glove. I pulled out and slammed back in, bouncing off her soft ass. I fucked her hard, my hands dug into her hips. I was ready to cum, but wanted to get her off one more time."Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!" she kept repeating as I stroked into her. After about twenty thrusts into her, she pushed back hard and squealed loud, "I'm cumming!" I could feel her pussy pulse and squeeze. I buried my cock in her as deep as I could and came, grunting. Sally was moaning and almost squeaking as she breathed in and out as I filled her pussy with.
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